When A Dominant Does Not Want To Hurt A Sub

While it might not seem to be the usual story, some dominants aren’t interested in punishing their submissives. They might have to take on this task during the training, but what they’re more interested in is creating true subservience in their slaves. These dominants want to have a slave that simply wants to do what they are told because that is a way to please their dominant. Whether in a Mistress or Master relationship, this dominant wants to be with someone who actively tries to please them because they are truly submissive.

Don’t Want to be the Bad Guy?

It might seem to be a unique situation, but there are many dominants who just don’t want to be the bad guy in a BDSM relationship. Instead, they want to have a slave in their life that loves them and wants to serve them. But what you might not realize is that:

1) You do need to exert some manner of control if you want to show your slave who is in control.
2) Even more important is the idea that your slave WANTS that control from you.

If you’re worried about hurting your slave or creating a relationship in which the slave only responds to pain, you need to focus more on how you can establish your position as a dominant, and their role as your slave.

Why Control is a Good Thing

If you think about it, a submissive doesn’t just want to have you control them, but they NEED you to control them. When they don’t know what is expected of them, they will flounder around, not knowing how to please you. You need to make sure you’re setting up clear rules that you expect your slave to follow, as well as letting them know the rationale behind these rules.
In doing so, you will show the slave that you see their feelings for you translated into the actions they take – or don’t take.

Another positive effect of being more controlling of your slave is that they’re not going to be as stressed out by their role and their place in the relationship. The slave needs to have a crystal clear idea of what you expect from them, and only then can they settle into the role of a slave who serves without needing punishment.

Role Playing Punishment

When you have a submissive that still needs to have the punishment aspect in your relationship, it can be helpful to role play these scenarios instead of allowing your slave to misbehave or not complete their duties. Within this scene, have your slave talk about how they haven’t fulfilled their duties to you and then you can punish them without feeling as though you’re being the ‘bad guy.’ After the scene, you can then hold onto your slave and remind them that their actions everyday will show that they love you and want to be the best submissive they can be for you.

In the end, the submissive who is fully controlled by their dominant is a more happy submissive. While there are some newer dominants that might be hesitant to take on this controlling role, it will help to create a more effective BDSM relationship, one that will satisfy everyone involved, while also allowing the submissive to feel safe and secure. As the slave has a clearly defined role and set of rules, they know what to do and how to do it in order to show their feelings for their dominant. And no one has to feel like the bad guy when this is the case.


Master Bishop

P.S. If you liked this article, please take a minute to e-mail
your friends and let them know about it. Thanks!

Dominant Training Techniques


Copyright 2008-2012 BDSMTrainingAcademy.com. By reading and
accepting this article you agree to all of the following: You
understand that this is simply a set of opinions, personal
experience and anecdotal evidence (and not advice). You are
responsible for any use of the information in this article, and
hold BDSMTrainingAcademy.com and all members and affiliates
harmless in any claim or event.


You must be 18+ years old to read this blog

5/5 (1 Review)

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Didn't Get Any BDSM Gear For The Holidays At The BDSM Academy
The BDSM Training Academy Logo

This site is for consenting adults

over 18+ years of age only!


By Clicking  "Yes, I am over 18+ years old" you agree the following statements are true:

* I am over 18+ years of age
* I will not allow any minors to access this site or any material found herein

BDSM Training Academy Join Us

74% OFF



The BDSM Training Program

You Have Got My Mind Racing!

I have been rereading your book over and over, each time I learn something new.


Thanks to you I finally realize how strong of a person I am! 

P.S. just love all the new tricks I have learned

Mistress Sarah

Scroll to Top