Before an actor goes onto a movie set or onto the stage, they will often spend weeks and months working on memorizing their lines and doing run throughs. This helps the actor be ready to perform perfectly for the audience and it will help to create a seamless performance. So, some BDSM couples begin to think that they need to practice ahead of time in order to make for perfect scenes. And while this practice does have its merits, you might want to think about why you feel you need to practice ahead of time and how this might impact the end result of your training sessions
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What is Perfect?
Sometimes, and especially when you’re new to BDSM (or anything), it can seem as though there is some sort of perfect ideal that you need to shoot for in the bedroom. The truth is that no Master or Mistress or slave is perfect – ever. If you see porn videos where it seems that way, you need to realize that they only keep the scenes that are done perfectly, but you haven’t seen all of the scenes where they forgot what they were doing or one of them dissolved into giggles. It happens to everyone. Instead of trying to be some sort of perfect BDSM partner, focus on the goals that you have set for your training and try to reach these – no matter what it looks like along the way.
Losing Spontaneity and Energy
Knowing What to Expect
Slaves will especially suffer from practicing scenes ahead of time. Though they might be able to perfect what is expected of them, this might also cause them to have troubles with sinking into the subspace or feeling as though the Master or Mistress is training them. In a sense, they will be training themselves, not focusing on how to please their Dominant. Sure, that will be a part of it, but there’s something special about a slave who is on edge as they don’t know what is going to happen next. A slave who doesn’t know what to do needs to be completely present and attentive. They will need to put all of their lessons to the test in each session, helping them to develop more fully as a slave.
So, if you’re performing your BDSM ‘act’ for other people, it might make sense that you practice ahead of time. It is also a good idea to practice improving and fine toning you Dominant and submissive skills, such as spanking, flogging and bondage. When you’re alone in a training session with your partner, it makes more sense to do what you do when you do it because you want to do it – not because you’re aiming for any sort of porn-perfect scene. Jump into the scenes with an idea of what to do and then move into these scenes with energy, enthusiasm, and obedience. You will get it ‘perfect’ even when you don’t.
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Tell Me what you think. Leave a comment below if you have something you want to say or some tips you would like to share.
By Master Bishop
The founder of the BDSM Training Academy. Master Bishop has been involved in the Dominant/submissive lifestyle for over 20 years. With a love for education both learning and teaching, Master Bishop has passed on his knowledge and experience to others entering into the BDSM lifestyle for over 15 years.
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I personally, from experience, have noticed that even well rehearsed scenes, sometimes can go wrong. When that is the case, it takes away from the intended mood of both parties. So from my own experiences, as long as all safeties are in place, it is far more enjoyable and rewarding to just wing it.
I have to say I find practice for a scene completely unnecessary. If I was doing a public scene with a sub, it would make sense to walk through what we will be doing. But, that is just for show, not real BDSM.
I prefer to not practice a scene. It can be a mood killer, and for the reasons you stated. It is so much better to just have an idea as to what you will do in the scene that to try to script it out. As they say in sports, that’s why we play the games. Spontaneity and discovery are critical elements to a great scene and you should not overthink this. Remember, it’s supposed to be fun and not work!