So You Want To Own A Pet BDSM

So You Want To Own A Pet

You are now the proud Owner of a pet… so now what? There are so many possibilities to take any aspect you desire to new deeper, more meaningful places. Explore new unknown territory or expand on familiar grounds. What will you do?

Rules. Rituals. Rewards.
What separates kitten from a girlfriend.
What I desire most in my life.
Why I need the lifestyle.

Common Basic Needs to Begin With

Most pets require three basics to begin to feel safe and secure- playtime, training and of course your support. Unless it is a special case where we are dealing with a switch, which I am happy to discuss at a later point from my own experiences as one, most pets are submissive so caring for a pet should begin there as far as a foundation goes. Ask your submissive where this desire to be a pet comes from and really listen to that answer.

Every answer is different though the end results are usually the same- rules, rituals and rewards. Regardless of the means to the end, these words should become very important if they are not already in your dynamic.

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Why Feeling Safe is So Important For A Pet?

Why your pet wants to explore that type of play will answer a lot of your questions upfront. They are seeking to explore certain unknown unfamiliar parts of their psyche and it is imperative that they know they are safe to do that with you- as hopefully they do because they are your submissive.

However this will be new ground for everyone involved and it is scary testing out new things for fear of being embarrassed or judged or misunderstood. It is heartbreaking when we open up to another who we consider our Dominant and the words don’t seem to register and get overlooked. The last thing any submissive wants to do is truly, in real life, disappoint their Dominant.

So if you think something we do is weird, it’s not just embarrassing, it hurts. When we open up about something secret, or share a need, and you choose to ignore it, there are no words for crushing that can be.

Dominants are supposed to make everything better, or at least attempt to. If you judge or tease your submissive for wanting to be a pony, puppy, kitten or any animal really… you’re doing so much damage to their trust in you and terrible damage to their self-esteem. It will affect all parts of them inside.

When they bring up this topic and want to explore it with you, be honest. If it isn’t for you, ask them what they sought from the play and see if you can somehow incorporate it into interactions you are comfortable with. Not everyone is into pet play and that has to be respected. Things will go terribly wrong if anyone feels obligated to engage in activities they don’t enjoy. Period.

Be honest, not judgmental, know the difference between the two, and attempt to figure out how else you can address the needs your submissive is sharing with you. Hopefully it can be resolved through honest communication and creative thinking- like most things in life!

Welcome To the World
Of Owning A Pet

If it is for you, welcome to Wonderland and CONGRATS on your new pet! We can be wonderful additions to any dynamic by adding another dimension and bringing you and your submissive closer together. Be interactive and remember the more excited and responsive you are, the more you will get out of your pet!

Pets are not toys, do not confuse the two. Ever!

Discuss the basics:

If your submissive is looking for a way to detach, this will be key. Those of us seeking release would rather not hear every day words or names. Another name almost gives permission to create another persona if that makes sense.

If your submissive finds it easier to be a certain way when they are a pet, that may differ from their normal behavior, a different name will help them slip into that headspace more easily overtime. The pet role will become a character, then an extension of your submissive as they become more comfortable and familiar; building deeper levels of trust and finding a safe place for their most vulnerable parts.

Boundaries should be established- will the same rules apply during pet play that exist in the regular dynamic? Will playing with other pets be allowed? Will being shared with other Owners be allowed? Will it always be kept private, will you play in public?

ALWAYS ESTABLISH SAFE WORDS!

Working with my puppy, I found the best place to start was with the basics to keep it fun and simple!

Here are some simple questions you can ask your pet to better understand what they need for you to support them:

PLAYTIME Equals Quality Time

BDSM Kitten Eating Out Of Her Bowl In Pet PlayPlaytime with any couple is how a healthy dynamic works! That’s especially true in pet play. Every pet loves to play! How they enjoy playing can differ like night and day!

Despite the endless ways to play, from mischievous tickling to playful fetch, playtime is going to be how your submissive releases pent up energy. It may be leftover work energy, sexual energy, angry energy, or it could stem from a need to want to please you and bond during quality time.

Unless the phone is your camera- put your phone away- both of you. This world you create should be far from reality, it breaks the illusion.

Whatever type of play is discussed, rule one is always be clear on the rules of playtime! What is allowed and acceptable, and what isn’t. Some subs want to explore other parts of themselves, or maybe some Dominants may want to introduce a new aspect to see their submissive behave in a different way during play.

For example, a list of kitten’s rules when I play:

It is so very important everyone be on the same page during this entire process. Nothing should be off the table and understanding is the way everyone involved wins- again- like in life.

During playtime, it should be lighthearted, child-like and uninhibited! A time when both of you can let go and get lost in the world you are creating. The real world can wait; it’s always there and not going anywhere. When you set aside pet play time, that’s your real world until play ends.

There are numerous ways to play and by asking your submissive how they would enjoy this most, it allows them to tell you what they need in a fun way!

Simple Playtime Scenes

Fetch with Puppy:

begin by having your puppy retrieve the toy they'd enjoy fetching. Be mindful of how far you throw! Start small so puppy can get used to maneuvering on all fours lol After bringing you their toy, give them a release/drop it command. Do not encourage tug of war, that's a different game! Once you hold the toy, give a sit command. Here a Dominant can have fun getting their puppy as excited as they can before fetching it! Work on teaching your pet patience in a fun way. Ask them how excited they are to fetch for you, are they your good boy/girl, how bad do they want that toy back? Engage, make eye contact, work on the stay command as they get more excited. Then throw it and watch the joy and eager anticipation as your obedient pet scampers away and returns with their toy in their mouth! Guaranteed laughs I promise! Always make them release their toy and sit to end that round of fetch before giving praise and treats! This game is also fun when turned into hide and seek with toys!

Barrel Racing with Pony:

I hope you're in good shape if you have a pony! If not it's a great way to start exercising in a super fun way! We all know ponies must be led, unless they are resting or playing in the pasture. So a fun easy way to play with pony is to set up "barrels" to race around. Attach your pony's bridle or harness, making sure they stay calm and still while you do. Stroke their manes and nose to help if they're nervous. After everything is secure, walk your pony through their course several times before jogging/running it with them. Once they are familiar, either let them run it again for time or change the course so they don't get bored! Watching ponies run around barrels brings so much joy and laughter to the world! Always make sure to give your pony breaks to breathe and remember they need lots of water to stay hydrated! When you're done running them, remove the bridle/harness, brush pony's mane and let pony rest. As your pony gets better you can add obstacles to their courses! Hysterical!

Feather Wand Chasing with Kitten:

I haven't met a kitten that doesn't love chasing a feathery possibly jingly wand! There is something irresistible about how colorful they are and how they move through the air, a kitten can simply not resist swatting and chasing after it! Have kitten pick out which feather wand they wish to chase, kittens can be fickle so best to let them choose the toy lol Begin by having kitten sit and slowly move the feathers across the floor, side to side. At first kitten may seem disinterested but don't stop. Move the wand a little faster, flicking your wrist, making it jump off the ground, but don't hold it up yet. (Big difference between forcing play and creating the desire to play in kittens- most don't like force) kitten will crouch and become curious seeing it jump and lightly away at it. Continue flicking it until kitten can't help and attempt to catch it at which point lift it above kitten's head to make her kneel and dance, or watch in delight as kitten falls to her back giggling unable to stop smiling and purrrring! Every now and then, let kitten catch the feathers for a few rewarding moments before giving the release command and starting to tease them all over again! If you want to really drive kitten crazy, grab the laser pointer instead!

My Kitten Persona

Annabelle Sitting Kitten On Chair BDSMMy inner kitten comes out to play and she loves making friends and being tied up and tickled! Anything shiny and jingly (like keys) dangled playfully always gets my attention quickly, as do feathers and piles of purple yarn! Kitten always gets wrapped and tangled in the yarn and sometimes gets herself stuck in self bondage for her Daddy to do as he pleases while helping her escape. Rolling onto my back and baring my belly while swatting at toys amuses me til no end and if you throw any of my favorite stuffies I will eagerly and happily go fetch it and bring it back (yes kittens fetch too!)

Dressing up is considered playtime to me and putting together elaborate detailed outfits to show off for my Daddy is such a genuine joy! Sometimes if I am lucky my Daddy and I wrestle and have tickle fights, though he usually always wins lol

Some days playtime is simply being my Daddy’s footrest after a long day at work, showing him a can pretend to be a statue and sit real still and be real quiet. On those days kitten needs to disconnect and I’ll communicate with my Daddy that I’m sad or deep in thought. He knows how kitten helps me detach and sometimes our playtime is spent quietly snuggling.

It’s of utmost importance as a responsible pet, that we ALWAYS communicate openly and honestly about what we need/seek from pet play time. No matter what it is!

Digging Deeper Into Your Pet's Psyche

Maybe you want your submissive to step into the role of dominant over another sub? Maybe you wish to pick out a Collar for them and enjoy seeing them at the end of your leash? What’s your deepest fantasy? Introduce your favorite kinks as well and use pet play as a means to explore new ones!

Is your training as a pet a blend of both pet and human submissive training? Test both and see which works best for your dynamic! Sometimes it takes some transitional time to learn how to be a pet 100%.

Maybe your pet would be more focused on specific pet behavior/obedience training as a pet, with no human connection at all, right from the start. By doing that the Dominant is better able to keep the environment supportive and focused on your needs and desires as their animal pet, not human sub. Though sometimes the line may blur- it’s ok! Find your own natural boundaries!

For me, after being kitten for over a decade, she became a hybrid that flows back and forth between all of my personalities! In which case, how would a Dominant know when a pet is pure animal on all fours waiting to play or a cute submissive kitten capable of human service?

Communication is essential, one that flows freely both ways. This questions can only be answered by telling my Owner what I needed. Testing the unknown waters of what made me uncomfortable and only repeating experiences that were positive. Using those experiences as a foundation to experiment more as time went by. At the beginning it’s IMPERATIVE to find out what works best for you by being open minded and understanding.

However, when I have ears on and my tail plug in my Daddy knows I’m 100% kitten. If I approach him on all fours, with my leash in my mouth, 100% kitten. Certain behaviors became nonverbal cues for my Daddy. This takes time, be patient finding balance.

Though as a submissive I purr when extremely turned on, scratch and claw like kitten, unless play is initiated as pet play, I am his submissive with kitten tendencies! If it is kitten time, I am 100% pet!

In the unique situation I was in as a switch, perhaps you let go of the Dominant reigns and become your submissive’s pet! There are so many crazy wonderful beautiful things that can come from pet play!

Playtime can even simply be time set aside for the things you love most but never seem to have the time to enjoy: bondage, foot play, tickling, inspections, etc. The most important thing about this time is that it is fun. It is meaningful. It is high quality time.

Training Your New Pet

Personally, I enjoy the training aspect of being a pet as well as Owner. It is beyond rewarding for each person involved. It requires attention, the ability to listen, learn and remember, and then recreate a certain expected result. It shows my Dominant I am eager to improve my serving skills, heighten my obedience and share my intellect because I find intelligence so fucking sexy!

I need my Owner to be proud and showing him I have to skills to continue actively learning his needs and wants is the best way I know to do that. I also believe that training should be taken more seriously than playtime. Before training ever begins- discipline needs to be discussed.

Training is NOT playing. Training will require a certain behavior to be expected. However, everyone is new to this and mistakes are going to be made, probably on both parts because both parts are human and it’s ok to make mistakes it is how we learn. Please do not take pet play too seriously, just have fun!

This is where things can potentially go wrong. Miscommunication can lead to undeserved punishments and that’s the absolute worst case scenario!

Figure out what’s to be accomplished by training? Pet positions? Obedience training? Behavioral training for other reasons? Does the goal benefit everyone involved? What happens when a mistake is made-on both parts?

Once that is all taken care of- let the training begin!

What will you use to train your pet? A clicker, verbal cues or hand gestures?

What will the reward be during training? Extra love and affection? An orgasm? Carrots for ponies? Scoop of PB for puppy? Maybe some cream for kitten? Earning a new bridle, ears or tail?

A good girl spanking? My favorite!

Training should never last terribly long unless you are working to increase your submissive’s pain tolerance. Training should be broken up over time, into a sensible order. Don’t teach B until they learn and master A. Set them up for success to build their confidence, self-esteem and trust in you!

Be clear on how strict you wish training to be. Go over any and all questions at all times. Do not move forward if someone is uncomfortable or if something doesn’t feel right. Real discipline, not the fun discipline, should never be used to the extreme in this case. If your pet is interested in training or you are interested in training them, rules and consequences need to be set up.

Rules kitten follows during training: (in addition to the rules for play time)

Should I fail to adhere to the rules of training, which I rarely ever do because I am an obedient loyal kitten, I would be punished. Punishments are different and you should discuss what means of discipline will be used during training before training ever starts.

The silent treatment is the ultimate punishment for me personally. My Daddy’s attention and affection are integral to my happiness and sharing my days are how I bond so when that is taken away it triggers my fear of abandonment. It sounds awful, and it is, however; it forces me to sit alone with myself and think about my mistake and why I won’t do it again.

As an owner, consider whether or not the transgression was intentional or an honest mistake? Repeatedly made or first time?

Because I enjoy playing rough- spankings will not be a healthy safe punishment because that is taking something I truly love and using it against me. NEVER DO THAT TO YOUR PET! Make sure that any punishment, whether it be silent treatment or popping their bottom with a paddle, results in them learning a lesson, not them resenting you or the punishment.

Other consequences for misbehaving during training may be reduced pet play time, wardrobe taken away, some pets get corrected with a rolled up news paper, some ponies get corrected with crops, as a kitten I’ve been sprayed with a water bottle, time outs (though I recommend a corner and never a crate), or maybe even in extreme cases using a muzzle to quiet a unruly pet or saying red and the entire session/scene stops until further notice depending on how badly one messes up.

Every let responds differently to discipline. There are ways to discipline a pet and stay within the pet head space or these punishments can bring the pet out of pet head space. Go slowly and learn together the best way to train them!

If you find your pet withdrawing during or after training, make sure you communicate and attempt to figure out what’s wrong. Don’t assume they will get over it. Not all pets respond well to training, it may not be for them or you may need to rethink your training methods. Maybe you were too strict? Maybe you were not strict enough.

Pet play should never ever add more stress to your dynamic. Once it is not fun- simply stop for a while and perhaps revisit it. Not every submissive or Dominant will be into it, like everything else of course.

Reaping the Rewards of a Healthy Dynamic

For those who tough it out and delve deep into this type of play, the rewards can be magical and the headspace addictive! I never thought my deepest desire would be to have my own crate built into my Owner’s bed and be his live in fuck kitten 1950’s housewife.

My experience with kitten is my safest happiest headspace. There is no more than her- she completes my everything. I did my best to ignore it and make her go away and I will tell you from my heart- don’t ever do that to ANY part of yourself. She makes me who I am, in every way. She is my prized possession and I will always keep her safe. I will share all else before I share her because inside my soul, in the tiniest hidden place, where kitten hides, if that part of my soul gets damaged the results are catastrophic! So much more than just me submitting- she completes my being.

It is not a break up with a boyfriend. It is not a divorce from a husband. It is not just simply getting hurt. It is destructive. It is ending. It is unbearable which is why I am so picky about who I share her with. One must earn kitten.

That is how any new Owner must approach this. Like getting an actual new pet! You have already earned their trust to a certain degree, or maybe you are working on it and want to use pet play to enhance that foundation you are building.

Either way, know it’s going to take understanding, patience and a very open mind to fully create a real pet. It shouldn’t be something taken lightly, or rushed, or forced because it’s another piece of your dynamic, it’s another piece of both of you!

It’s a fun, fairytale like world, pet play. The costumes are extravagant! The toys are beyond fun! The kink level isn’t anything to be afraid of as far as the deep end of the kink pool goes. It should be safe and fun!

One More Time

In the end, to make your pet feel the safest and most secure they can, listen, respond, create and understand. Listen to their needs if they bring up this topic or listen to yourself if you feel the need to explore. Most of the time, if our Dominant would be pleased doing something, we will eagerly follow.

Respond to the needs. Take a step down a new path. Begin the communication process to create a new separate world away from real life.

Most importantly, understand that again, each party involved is only human and humans are going to make mistakes which is why we establish boundaries, rules and consequences.

All of these things need to be understood by everyone involved in order for this to be successful! Never stop supporting your pet because whether you are feeding their need or having yours met, or both, showing them you support them will only encourage them to continue making you proud!

Pick out wardrobe, come up with games, pick out Collars and harnesses and tails, I love writing assignments myself! Anything you can do to proactively support your pet will greatly benefit you in the end by earning more of their trust; boosting their self-esteem and helping them feel safer and more secure.

Through acceptance comes, understanding. Understanding brings appreciation. Appreciation grows into gratitude.

Being grateful for something deep in my heart, is to love that something.

To be grateful means to cherish in my eyes, i cherish those i love.

To be grateful means to be thankful, and i am very thankful for those i love.

To be grateful for something actually makes it appear even more beautiful in my eyes, making me hold it even dearer.

So when i say i am grateful, i am saying i love. kitten will always be forever grateful for her Daddy.

Annabelle Genovisi Bio Picture

By Annabelle Genovisi

Beginning her journey as a talented fetish model over 15 years ago, Annabelle began her trip down the rabbit hole and has been playing in Wonderland since! With extensive experience as both a collared trained submissive, and an Owner of her own collared trained puppy, she absolutely adores everything the lifestyle has to offer and nothing brings her joy like sharing her knowledge with others to help them along their own path!

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