Trust and BDSM

Trust is something that’s discussed frequently in traditional relationships, but this is something that’s even more important when it comes to BDSM. Trust is what BDSM is based on – and without a sense of trust, a relationship can fall apart quickly and in a destructive way. In order to make the most of your BDSM relationship, whether you’re the Dominant or the submissive, you need to make sure that you are working on trust issues before you even step into the dungeon. The play area is not where you figure out whether you trust someone or not with your well being.

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Should You Give Trust Immediately?
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Just as in any other relationship, trust is not something that necessarily happens right away. In many relationships, you might have troubles giving over trust to just anyone. This is a good thing, not a restrictive thing. You need to make sure you know the person before you can allow them to play with you or you can dominate them. Trust may be something that’s easier to give over when the person you are with has already been vetted by friends, but even in that case, you need to make sure you are comfortable with this person. Start out slowly, just getting to know each other outside of the dungeon before you set foot inside. You might want to begin by emailing each other and then meet each other in a public place. Over a few weeks, you will begin to see whether you are a good fit – and from there, you can begin to play with each other.

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Cultivating Trust
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However, trust is not a static concept. You need to continue to cultivate trust as you play together. There are a few things which need to be ground rules when you are playing together:

>>You respect each other’s time – There’s nothing more upsetting than someone who does not respect the other person’s time. Make sure you both can commit to showing up on time consistently.

>>You respect each other’s boundaries – Boundaries are set up in the contract when you are beginning to establish a clear Master/Mistress and slave relationship. These boundaries need to be followed at each and every session.

>>The safe word means stop – You need to make sure that your safe word is being used appropriately and that you are listening to it. All play stops when that word is used.

Trust is something that can be lost when these rules aren’t followed time and time again. Thus, it’s important to begin to follow these rules from the start.

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When Trust is Broken in BDSM
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As in any relationship, trust can also be broken in a BDSM situation. In these cases, you have a few different things that you can do. First of all, you need to discuss the breach and then work on ways to avoid this in the future. Create a time period in which trust will need to be earned again. If in this time trust is not reestablished, then you might want to consider whether the relationship is working. Sometimes a person just isn’t trustworthy or doesn’t want to work on the relationship anymore. And when this becomes apparent, it’s time to move on, for both of your sakes.

No matter what kind of relationship you are in, trust is paramount in order for the relationship to work for both sides. Since bodily harm and mental health are at stake in some BDSM relationships, trust is not just something to discuss, it’s something to hold dear and it’s something to take seriously.

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Countless submissives and even Dominants are both physically and emotionally hurt by actively playing with someone they didn’t trust. BDSM is not about having new experiences with someone you don’t fully trust. I receive tons of emails every month from people who have been injured by an individual that just would not stop or were emotionally crushed when they gave everything and were unexpectedly abandoned.

BDSM is about having experiences and pushing your boundaries with someone who you can trust to have your best interests at heart and respects you enough to stop when you want to. To learn more about living a safe, sane and consensual bdsm lifestyle visit ===> BDSM Training Tutorial

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Regards,

Master Bishop

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