Ways To Balance Your Vanilla Life With Your BDSM Life

Collaring A Female Slave

Your BDSM life is something that you value, something that you believe in and something that you enjoy. But what happens when you’re also balancing the idea of a vanilla life? For some BDSM couples, it’s not just about the BDSM they enjoy, but they also want to have times of vanilla. And the question becomes: can you have both?

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Why Vanilla Might Still Be in Your Life
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For some BDSM relationships, a couple might want to have times when they’re not slave training and they’re not simply trying to create the ideal slave or the ideal Master or Mistress. And that’s okay. What you need to realize is that you can have both – so long as you have the understanding with your partner that this will be the case. Vanilla time might be the time when you connect with your partner in a different way, and this can actually make you appreciate your BDSM time even more.

Its also good to have time away from the Dungeon every so often because even chains and cuffs can become routine and boring if you do it all the time. While that is painful to admit, it can become true. Sometimes its a good idea to take breaks, so your training doesn’t become a monotonous routine.

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How to Keep Vanilla
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At times, you might want to relate to your partner in a different way, with loving touches and bedroom time that aren’t mixed with bondage or punishment. Depending on your Dom/sub relationship, you may want to schedule BDSM training sessions on a calendar. If your relationship consists mostly of slave training, then scheduling in vanilla times will be in order. Organize a movie night, cooking dinner together or perhaps going out to dinner as a vanilla couple. No collars, floggers or cuffs, just the two of you enjoying each others company can help to create a more harmonious balance for your relationship. It allows you to realize you have more in common then just BDSM.

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In between harder training times, having times when you don’t have a goal of training will allow you the opportunity to change the way that you play together. You can simply focus on being together as a couple, focusing on pleasing each other as you did before you began BDSM. But it is helpful to schedule these times separately so there’s no confusion about what this means for your Dom/sub relationship. Make sure you have a clear verbal indicator as to when you are slave training and when you are vanilla.

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Scared of Losing Your Dom/sub Relationship?
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When you’re adding vanilla into your BDSM life, you might be concerned that your training will be affected in some way – this is not the case. You can actually benefit your BDSM training when you decide to add in more times that are vanilla. And this will ensure that your BDSM practices are more effective and that you can stick to the training you enjoy – no matter what role you play in the BDSM relationship.

  • Enhanced trust – As trust is the backbone of any relationship, when you add in vanilla times that are agreed upon, you will show that you are committed to your partner in a variety of ways. You will increase the trust you have in your partner and the trust they have in you.
  • Increased connection – While BDSM can help to increase your connection to a partner, it can also create a connection that is stronger because you have more than one way in which you relate.
  • Continued relationship development – Relationships are challenging, whether there is BDSM or not. When you add in vanilla times, you can further develop your relationship and what you want to have as a couple.
  • More creativity – As with anything, you can get burned out on the BDSM training, so having times when you don’t have to be ‘on’ will help you to be more creative when you head back to the dungeon.
  • With the vanilla times you add, you will not stray from your BDSM goals, but you will begin to have times when you are less focused on the training. Don’t look at vanilla times as being times when you’re not as strong of a couple – far from it. The more you can learn to balance your relationship’s needs and growth, the more you can dedicate your energy to enhancing your BDSM practice, even if it’s not all the time.

    Regards,

    Master Bishop

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