If you’ve been in a BDSM relationship for any period of time, you will notice that some scenes are better than others. Even though you might have everything planned out, this doesn’t mean that you’re going to have it go the way you’ve planned. And in some cases, you might have a very horrible scene, one in which one or both partners have troubles or get hurt. Here are some ways to handle the problem of when BDSM goes wrong.
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When Someone Gets Hurt
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Despite your best intentions, there might be a scene in which someone gets hurt. Even though the Master or Mistress might be doing all they can to make sure this doesn’t happen, sometimes things go wrong and a sex toy is used too vigorously or it does something unexpected. When this occurs, the key is to stop what’s happening as quickly as possible. The person who is hurt needs to speak up about being hurt and then take care of their injury. Often, the injury will not be serious, but it can be damaging if the scene isn’t stopped when it needs to stop. In the case where the skin has been broken or something is damaged more extensively, it’s vital that medical treatment be sought so that the person’s injuries can be addressed. For most incidents, simply cleaning the wound and dressing it will help. And then you need to avoid any strong play for a while until the wound is healed.
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When a Limit is Ignored
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It can be difficult at times to determine when a limit is being pushed and when it’s being ignored. When a couple is trying to move the BDSM training to a new level, there might be reason to move away from pre-determined limits, but it can also be surprising and damaging. You will want to adhere to all limits when you’re in a BDSM relationship, and if things go beyond these limits, the scene should stop immediately. The person who pushed the limit should apologize for the problem and they should assure the other person that this will not happen again. If there is still some concern about what limits are okay to push and which ones need to stay in place, remove yourselves from the bedroom and talk about what needs to change in your agreements.
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How to Avoid Troubles
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There are two main things that need to occur in order to avoid problems in the future. The contract that is set up for the BDSM relationship needs to be clear and it needs to be followed unless it is changed. There is a reason why you have an agreement in the first place. If one or both partners feel that the contract needs to be changed, this discussion needs to happen outside of a scene. In addition, the other way to make sure problems don’t happen is to communicate well with each other. If something hurts, say something. If something doesn’t feel right, say something. If someone does something they shouldn’t, say something. If you’re unable to communicate well, it might be better to avoid BDSM until you are comfortable talking.
With these ideas in mind, you can make sure every BDSM scene is fun and safe. While things may still go wrong from time to time, having an awareness about the possibility can allow you to be confident you can fix the situation if and when it arises. Though no one is perfect, the BDSM relationship is one that is built on trust, and the worst damage that can happen is a fracturing of the built up trust. Learn about the skills you need to develop trust, so you can create the BDSM scene you both desire
Regards,
Master Bishop
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