I am a slave in a dedicated, long-term loving M/s relationship. I have been with my Master for 25 years. The first 18 as husband and wife, and then for the past 7 yrs. W/we have nurtured and grown our relationship into a consensual loving Master, slave relationship.
Having come into the lifestyle from an existing loving relationship has provided some unique challenges but also some unique insights and perspectives. Recently I have been considering how my service seems to have two sides. The passive side – Here is where my obedience, trust, respect and submission reside. And, the active side – Here is where my acts of service can be expressed.
For me, acts of service can feel more intimate than passive obedience and being respectful. An Act of service requires a focus on doing something for the Master that they would like you to do. “not simply what they have instructed or trained you to do”. Being active in your service shows a commitment not only to the relationship dynamic but to the growth and journey in your chosen lifestyle.
No. Is my response to that nagging question that just popped into your head. No, active service is not topping from the bottom, or providing service your way and not necessarily the Master’s way.
Active service, when it comes from a desire to be obedient, respectful, submissive and honest is essential to a healthy growing relationship.
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How do we begin to provide active service? Let’s start with a simple example.
(Disclaimer – all examples are based on my own 24/7 M/s lifestyle. They may not be suitable to your lifestyle or dynamic.)
Master is home every night by 5:45pm and wants dinner served by 6:00pm. Having texted and spoken several times throughout the day I know Master has had a particularly stressful day. He has informed me that it will be an early night and He is looking forward to a quiet evening. My instructions are simple and clear. Dinner at 6:00, no un-necessary stress, early retirement to the bedroom.
my Passive service: Obedience, have dinner prepared and ready to serve at 6:00pm. Respectful, turn off my music and any loud tv volume (from senior father who lives with us) (a story for another day) … Submissive; be in proper greeting position as instructed and required. Reserve all non-emergency stressful conversation for a quieter more relaxed moment.
My Acts of service: I changed the menu; I Prepare a meal that is particularly enjoyable for Master. One of His favorites will help him relax, slow down and savor the meal. Replace the tv news channel with a music station Master enjoys. Have lighthearted dinner conversation. I have prepared my supplies to offer a message after our shower. I have my kindle on the nightstand and the book Master and I are reading together ready to resume, if He desires. Being prepared to provide more than just what is expected is as valuable a service as the service its self. Respectfully I ask Master if He would care for massage. Or perhaps share that it is Monday and typically a terrible night for tv and perhaps he would like to continue with your reading. Master will decide if He wishes to accept any of the offered services and He may choose to accept and modify a service to be more to His desires for the evening.
In offering and being prepared to provide, I am essentially asking permission to serve.
Within our M/s relationship dynamic and structure this is not considered topping from the bottom. As long as permission is being respectfully asked.
As a slave, one of my deepest desires is to be of service; and, for my service to be wanted, appreciated and thoroughly used. All my services. So, when Master accepts what is offered, regardless of the service, this lights a flame within me and ignites a passion and intimacy that has deepened the relationship.
Master has expressed to me that, as a Master, having a slave freely offer what she knows can be easily taken at His will, can be quite erotic and empowering and downright hot and sexy……and just one of the hottest acts of service a slave can give.
Several of my offered and accepted acts of service have evolved and are now part of our daily protocols. In fact, the one protocol Master and I most often refer to when asked about our protocols is one of our very first protocols and the one W/we began over 25 yrs ago. This is O/our evening shower protocol.
It began when we were just dating. We started showering together almost immediately like it was the most natural thing to do. As our relationship grew and we moved in together it continued. It just became what we did together, like grocery shopping only more fun. The shower became a place for conversation, laughs, passion and we welcomed the private time and focus.
Fast forward 18 yrs. and we are still in love, still married and now exploring a new journey into the Master/slave dynamic in a Total Power Exchange relationship filled with all kinds of new fun and amazing pleasures. But not losing who we were as a couple and what was important to the relationship was important to us. So, when we entered that time in our new dynamic to discuss and implement new protocols we agreed that using a familiar routine could make the transition smoother so naturally we went with our Shower routine. Fast forward to what has now become our Shower Protocol.
Every evening: Master enters bathroom and undresses, I enter and undress in front of Him. I prepare towels, soap, shampoo and turn on water. While preparing the shower, Master inquires of my day and I ask about His. We discuss any topic of concern first and move on to general pleasant conversation. If we are bathing together than Master enters the shower first, I follow when He invites me. Mostly, Master bathes himself while I rattle on about whatever. Or we chat about concerns or a Master would say He takes care of business while I stand around stealing all the hot water. Sometimes Master will instruct me to bath Him and I am more than eager to serve.
If we are not bathing together I wait outside the shower, arms outstretched in front of me holding a towel waiting for Him to finish. We will also use this time to talk. Reconnect, refocus from our vanilla day to our M/s life.
Once the shower is done I dry Master as He has instructed starting at His head and ending at His feet; where I bend over in slave-kiss position, kiss his feet in gratitude, and thank Him for the privilege to serve. “Thank You Master for allowing me to serve You”.
The act of service – bathing Master was not part of our married routine. It was something I did occasionally. When we developed our protocol is was not originally a requirement. But after offering this act of service several times and finding that we mutually enjoyed the activity it has been added to the protocol. With rules of course…
One of my favorite acts of service within this shower protocol is the kissing of Master’s feet and showing gratitude for Him. Again, this was in no way part of our vanilla routine but has become one of the most intimate parts of our M/s life and protocol.
I remember the first time. I was on my knees completing my drying of Master’s feet and I was so overwhelmed with love and passion and respect for this Man, this Master, that my heart was actually aching. Like now when I speak of it.
I lifted my head and looked at Him and said, “Please Sir, may I kiss Your feet, Sir?” He hesitated for a moment, looked apprehensive, then gave me permission. As I kissed the first one gently three times, I said, “Thank You Master”, then moved to the next one, kissed it three times, and said, “for allowing me to serve You” He look down at Me and smiled. Then extended His hand and said “Thank you my slave for serving me” Then He lifted me up from kneeling and wrapped me in His arms.
We now use kissing His feet and showing gratitude and obedience as a regular part of our dynamic and rituals. It is done before and after a scene, both in public and in private. I do this after he has given me permission to provide any active service. If I offer a message or sexual pleasure and he accepts. I always kneel, kiss His feel and thank Him. A most beautiful Act of Service…..
Sometimes the simplest gestures can be the most important.
If your dynamic allows for it Offer Acts of Service. Don’t be a passive participant in a journey that incudes you as one of the main characters. Don’t just wait to be instructed and directed and taken care of. See if you can identify areas where you can offer an Act of service that that may provide your Master some comfort, pleasure or release. An act of service that fills your heart and serves your Master.
Actions as we all know sometimes speak louder than words.
It is my hope that what I share gives you some insight into my M/s lifestyle and journey and thoughts for how to navigate act of service without sacrificing submission, obedience and the power exchange dynamics.
Thank you for sharing in my lifestyle.
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