The one thing that tends to confuse most people about BDSM and Dominant/submissive relationships is the dynamic of the submissive alpha. I’m sure you know the one I am talking about, the individual who is a complete Dominating alpha in their entire life and yet has an enormous need to submit in their kinky life.
So what is an alpha?
Many would agree that an alpha:
- Exudes Confidence,
- Strong Willed
- highly Ambitious
- Highly Opinionated
- tends to Dominate most interactions (social and business)
- is not easily swayed by others
Due to these kinds of characteristics many alphas thrive off challenging environments and can be found within high positions of power in industry, and politics. Even within their home and social life they tend to naturally have control over most situations. It is just natural instinct for them to be Dominant in almost every aspect of their life.
Yet there is a large population within alpha personalities (the alpha submissive), who have as strong a desire to submit as they do to lead.
For many people it is extremely hard for them to wrap their minds around why or how a naturally born leader could have to completely conflicting desires. Even many alphas have a hard time reconciling the different natural desires and feel there must be something wrong with them.
If you are an alpha reading this know there is nothing wrong with you and you will find there are far more submissives who are alphas than you would ever think.
For Dominants who find themselves having a difficult time dominating an alpha submissive, understanding why they want to submit might better help you to tailor your Domination to match their submission.
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Why Would An Alpha Submit:
The Challenge: Alphas have a natural instinct to always be looking for the next challenge. To always find a way to push themselves. Is there anything more challenging then being pushed by a mentor to achieve something beyond what you previously thought possible. To better understand and learn what you are truly capable of despite what all the doubters say. To prove everyone wrong in the face of adversity.
Inspiration: When you spend your whole life in the lead, it is inspiring to find someone who can match you and have even surpassed you in most aspects of life. To meet someone who you can look up to and motivate you to become better than you are is inspiring.
Domination is about inspiring and in many cases an alpha will find a natural desire to submit to an individual that inspires them in their life.
Over Active Mind: Alphas have an extremely difficult time turning off an over active mind or some might say the noise. They are constantly thinking, planning, contemplating, worrying, problem solving, analyzing and controlling. Always controlling. Just being able to quiet the mind long enough to fall asleep after an extremely exhausting day can be a difficult task for many alphas.
Being able to find peace from your surroundings is challenge enough, but being able to find a moments peace from the constant conflict within the mind can be absolute heaven for anybody let alone the alpha. Submission for the submissive alpha is a moment where the mind can finally let go and for all the noise to become quiet.
Always In Control: For many alphas, they must be in absolute and constant control of themselves and their environment, including anyone in it. This constant need to always be in control of everything is an exhausting venture for anyone. Especially when many things in life can’t be control, excessive use of energy to control those elements can be overwhelming.
Quieting the mind and letting go of control tend to go hand in hand for the alpha submissive. When the alpha submissive finally lets go of the tight grip they hold on the world and hand that control over to another can the alpha submissive finally let go. To truly be at peace within ones self and to be free from everything.
Mental Exhaustion: Many studies have recently concluded that all people only have a limited amount of mental resources in a day and thereby this limits the number of decisions that can be made in that day. What this means is even the most ambitious, motivated and in control alpha can become completely and totally exhausted from constantly having to make too many difficult and complex decisions.
After making too many decisions and over exerting the brain, the mind can no longer continue at function effectively at such a pace. Even making simple decisions like what tv show to watch or what to make for dinner can be too much to process. In fact, what many people would consider to be the funniest decisions to make can actually become the most difficult after an overly difficult day. As so often is said “no more adulting today” is a perfect way to describe mental exhaustion.
Giving Up Control Is What Some Alpha's Need
For some alphas the overactive mind that they can’t seem to shut off, the stress and pressure of making important decisions can lead to one predicament – exhaustion. For the alpha to be able to recharge their mental, and physical batteries they need an escape from everything.
They need someone to take them away from that constant state of always being on and in charge. Of being the one everybody else relies on, and counts on to do what is necessary. They need a break where they can put everything down and finally hand all control and decision making to someone else – in a submissive’s case their Dominant.
In that moment they will never be any freer. Peace, acceptance and joy will replace their tense stress filled life. All they will ever have to do is listen, follow and experience, no more, no less. This state of being will force them to live purely in that moment of bliss. A complete break from everything, allowing them to finally let go and just Be!
Not only do some Alpha submissives desire a stronger Alpha Dominant to take charge at certain points in their life, for some it is an absolute necessity to continue to be able to function at such a high level Alpha in their everyday life. It is these moments and experiences that give them the rest and so they have the strength to continue to ADULT everyday.
Don’t dismiss alpha submissives as not truly being submissive in the pure sense of the word. For many alpha submissives the desire and need to submit can burn even brighter than most. Once you understand why your submissive wants to be submissive can you then understand how to Dominant them and the alpha is no different.
Is there another motivation behind why an alpha would want to submit that you feel I left out or are you an alpha submissive and feel something different please feel free to add your comment below.
W/we can all grow when W/we share what W/we know.
To your journey
By Master Bishop
The founder of the BDSM Training Academy. Master Bishop has been involved in the Dominant/submissive lifestyle for over 19 years. With a love for education both learning and teaching, Master Bishop has passed on his knowledge and experience to others entering into the BDSM lifestyle for over 14 years.
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