Why would someone want to be submissive? Why would someone want to be controlled?
I find this question to be quite refreshing, as many people just talk about how they like something and they never question WHY they like it. So, for those who haven’t been in the submissive role, it’s a mystery as to why anyone might submit to another person.
Let’s think about this from a more secular point of view. What happens when you give over your power to a boss of some sort? You don’t have the responsibility of having to make decisions or to take responsibility for the outcome of these decisions. All you have to do is please them and everything is okay.
In a BDSM relationship, a submissive can feel happier when they are in a submissive role because they are able to please someone in a variety of ways – emotionally, physically, sexually, etc. There are clear definitions of what they are to do and what they are not to do.
Additionally, the sexual component of being a submissive can be quite powerful. When you are completely at the will of someone else, it is exciting. You don’t know what’s going to happen, so your body and your mind are continuously surprised by what is happening and you are anxious to find out what might happen next. Your body is alight in anticipation.
Consider what happens when you are tickled. If you try to tickle yourself, you don’t feel anything. Why? Because you know it’s coming. But when someone else tickles you, then you might not be able to control those sensations.
When a Dominant takes control, the submissive is often put into challenging positions where they may not be able to do anything but give over all of the parts of themselves. Imagine a person bound to a chair, the Dominant can do anything to them. They can sexually stimulate them, often without immediate relief, causing the sensations to build and build, they can spank them until their little bottom is a new shade of red or they can just let them stew in their own juices. The choices are vast, but the great thing is the submissive can only wait and enjoy what is happening. It truly is the concept of “the power of now!”
To forget everything that has happened in the past, and everything that might happen in the future and solely focus and enjoy everything that is happening NOW! Many people who are constantly thinking and worrying, love being submissive for this reason. It allows them to stop thinking and to finally relax.
In some BDSM scenes, a Dominant might tease the submissive until they feel as though they are going to burst with sexual pleasure…and then they will not get that release. The submissive might have to do something or say something in order to be good enough to be gratified. This task is perfect for taking a busy mind and focusing it on one task. Even a busy mind is able to focus when the person is desperate for some sexual relief.
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But not all BDSM relationships are the same. While the sensations of being controlled are strong for some, others are turned on by being put into a position of being powerless.
(It’s no wonder that many submissives actually hold positions of power in the world and in their jobs.)
In the submissive role, the submissive doesn’t have to make any decisions. They can relax as all the decisions are made for them, even if it is for only an hour a day. They can be told they are dirty or bad. When this happens, they can enjoy the feeling of having to prove they are not bad – or not. Some just like to be humiliated in BDSM scenes because it allows them to be stripped of their power and control.
Some submissives have also stated that they get a lot out of their role because it challenges them to see how far they will go in a scene. Right when they think they can’t take one more hit of a flogger, for example, they take another, and they see how powerful they are.
Additionally, a slave that is pushed to their limits by a Master or Mistress sees that someone else believes in them so much that they are willing to give over their time to train them to act in a certain way. They feel protected and cared for. This relationship is a blessing of sorts, as a submissive can begin to see just how beautiful they are through the eyes of one who is controlling them.
Every reason for a person wanting to be submissive is a dynamic and diverse as each individual person that desires it. The only way you will find out why you like being submissive or why your partner likes being submissive is to sit down with them and have a nonjudgmental discussion about their desires and fantasies.
If you have any ideas about different reasons why someone would like to be a slave, please add your idea in a comment below.
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3 thoughts on “Why Would Someone Want To Be A Slave?”
i love being a slave for all the reasons stated above but also for me it is the total focus on pleasing my Master, it keeps me calm and balanced. i thrive on Master’s recognition and praise for all i do to serve and please Him. It brings a new purpose and focus to my life and it fills my need to be seen as worthy, accomplished, beautiful, graceful and strong. i feel appreciated, cared for and desired. As well as feeling special and valuable to someone.
Thanks to Master Bishop and the Academy’s training program i have learned what being a slave means to me.
i now enjoy a 24/7 Master/slave lifestyle with my Husband (Master) of 20 years and the enhanced emotional physical and sexual connection are extraordinary.
So, The submissive might have to do something or say something in order to be good enough to be gratified. So the submissive is nothing but an animal, begging for a stroke instead of a lash? I suppose, as a “Master” you get off on being brutal and cruel. Sad sad sad.
@Intelligent female Thank you for replying to the article I feel it’s very important for everybody to share their opinions and viewpoints as that is the only way any of us can grow as people.
As for your comment that I must “get off on being brutal and cruel” That would be called a sadist (someone who enjoys inflicting pain upon another) and I am not a sadist. So no, I do not get off by being brutal and cruel.
However, while not all submissives are masochists (someone who finds pleasure in one’s own pain) some are and they enjoy the pain a sadist gives them. If both partners enjoy that kind of activity, who are you or I or anybody else to judge them for it. If they are not doing it in front of you or asking you to join, what harm have they done?
In this life are we all not looking for what makes us happy? If someone has found that being a masochist (and every masochist needs a sadist) is what makes them happy, why would this offend you?
Do I think submissives are nothing but animals? Of course not, which is why I wrote this article about why some people enjoy being submissive. To show that submissives are regular people who just may have different desires then you or I.
As stated above “It’s no wonder that many submissives actually hold positions of power in the world and in their jobs. In the submissive role, the submissive doesn’t have to make any decisions. They can relax as all the decisions are made for them, even if it is for only an hour a day.” Being submissive can give that overworked, overly stressed individual that one hour that they need to relax and not think about all their problems.
Or “Some submissives have also stated that they get a lot out of their role because it challenges them to see how far they will go in a scene.” Some submissives love rising up to new challenges that others set for them to show how strong they truly are. Many people in most work environments do the exact same thing.
And others are just people pleasers. Each person’s desires to be submissive are different and should be respected. If being submissive is not something that you enjoy or understand, you have every right to that opinion. However, every submissive deserves the right to be able to enjoy and live their life the way they want.
That is all I wish for anybody, including submissives, dominants and you.